Oct 31

Written by: Mias
10/31/2008 1:08 PM

It was Friday the 13th, May 2005; I was 45 years old, when they discovered I had breast cancer in my right breast. It had already spread out to my armpit glands.

2 days before, while I was taking a shower, I felt something in my breast. It was not the usual limp people are afraid to discover, no, it was more like a small disc.
I had to go to work and because I am a nurse, I didn’t really feel the necessity to take action right away.

Friday the 13th, I went to see my doctor and than for a mammography at the hospital where I work as a nurse. I wasn’t really worried, so I went by myself. Breast cancer is not something that occurs in my family, not that I am aware of at least. I have always been healthy and never had any physical disabilities.

After the photo, the radiologist came to me in person and she told me she wanted to do an echo right away. That’s when I started to get nervous. The radiologist showed her concerns and decided to call the surgeon of the mammogram policlinic right away to come and have a look.
I was helped instantly. She looked at, and examined my breast and decided to do a biopsy in not only my breast, but also in my armpit where a swelling was found.

I tried to call my husband, but he didn’t answer. After the biopsy I was able to reach him. Hearing his voice made me break down. He came to the hospital right away and we waited for the results together. It was Friday afternoon, just before Pinkster weekend so I wanted to know a.s.a.p. At 17.30 the surgeon called me in her office and gave it to me strait. The tumor was malignant and had spread out to my armpit.

That weekend was very emotional for me. Not only did I have to tell my sons, also my mother and my brothers. The insecurity and not knowing what the future will look like. Has the cancer spread even more? Many questions and no answers yet.

The following weeks several tests were done; lung photos, liver echo’s and bone scans were taken at the Antonie van Leeuwenhoek Hospital. I had several meetings with an internist and was under surveillance by an oncology nurse. 2 weeks after I was diagnosed I had my first chemotherapy. They were 6 in total. At first they wanted to give me 3 to 4 chemo’s at the same time, but the tumor reacted so well to this chemo that they decided to profit from it.
I had mixed emotions. On one hand I was happy the chemo worked so well, on the other hand I suddenly had 3 more to go instead of 1.

Meanwhile I had turned bold, had no eyebrows and lashes, was wearing glasses, because my contacts bothered me to much, still it was nothing compared to the fatigue, the weakness and nausea. The thing is, you have no choice, you have to keep going.

October 3rd I was operated. They did a 2 in 1 operation. The surgeon did not only remove my breast and armpit lymph’s/glands, he also placed silicon breast prosthesis and after a few days I was ready to go home. Only to be submitted urgently 3 weeks later. The breast prostheses had to be removed, it had caused an infection. After been treated with antibiotics, I was send home. This time, left with only 1 breast.
I didn’t need any radiation, but had to go trough hormonal therapy. The chemo had caused acceleration of the menopause. I wasn’t menstruating anymore, but had flushes.
They gave me Arimidex, something I am still using today.

From May until the end of October my life has been a fast stream. With a lot of support I had started the battle against breast cancer. It was now a matter of picking up where I had left of and hoping that the battle was actually won. Trying not to think of those women who that were re-diagnosed with cancer, not looking at those scares and feeling self-pity, but to think I AM ALIFE.

January 2006, I started revalidation together with 8 other woman. It was a 16 week program. We were going to learn to deal with the fatigue, to cope with the fact we had cancer and to be able to get back to work and society without the cancer.
I was skeptic about the program. I was doing well again, so why should I listen to stories of others, that were probably not doing well, what was the point of that?
Now I am glad I went trough with it. I’m still in contact with the other 7 women.

During the year 2006 I went back to work full time which went really well. I went back to doing sports, was able to use my contacts again and my hair was growing back. Unfortunately the color was completely gone, BUT I suddenly had curls!

On the outside everything seemed ok, but I was constantly confronted with the scares and the discomfort of an exterior prostheses.

I started looking for a plastic surgeon and try to find an option for a reconstruction of my breast.
In March 2007 I was operated in the VU medical Center. They removed tissue from my belly and reconstructed a new breast with that. It was a complicated procedure, but it was worth it.
I had a quick recovery and after 6 months I even attended ‘A Sisters Hope’ and walked 60 km from Amersfoort to Amsterdam. Just like Pink Ribbon it’s an awareness organization for breast cancer.
For me this meant closure of a dark period. I had accomplished something. Not only did I raise money to support research, but I had also beaten the physical challenge.

It’s been almost 3 years now and I have faith in the future. Still every now and than I feel afraid and insecure.
Like many other women,, that is something I have to learn to deal with, but still, I am here and I am ALIVE!

Mia - The Netherlands

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