PinkRibbon International — Funding global breast cancer and female cancer research.ONE WORLDONE FIGHT

0:00I am Carina, and I live with metastatic breast cancer. In 2021, I got breast cancer, and by 2023 it had actually spread to my bones. Only when I got breast cancer did I feel: I can handle this, I can fix this. And then when I found out that it had spread, it was a completely different feeling, it was like life was being snatched from me. Because then there was something that could not be cured. And then I became completely hysterical and just started crying and thinking, now I am going to die soon.

0:40But I have had different treatments. I started with one in tablet form, but it didn't work on me. Then I had to switch to something else, including what is called Capecitabine, a kind of chemotherapy tablet. And then it stopped working, and then I had to replace it. And then I got one that I have now, called Enhertu. And I've had it four times, and it's intravenous, you get it every three weeks. There is no end date on it, you just continue on it.

1:18And in between, you have tests, and those tests decide whether you can start a new course. And every three months you have a scan, to see how things look — whether it has spread, or that it is stable, or if it has decreased, or... So sometimes I feel you live three months at a time, and then you are scanned again and gather the energy you have. And then you live — depending on the result you get, you live three more months.

1:47So it just feels like you're living in three-month intervals. I found the strength, this Carina strength that I have inside, so it's there. It sits so deep in me. I carry it with me — that no, I have one hell of a name. And that you can embrace life, despite this serious illness you live with. And then of course the people standing next to me, they also give me the strength. They cheer me on: come on, you've got this. And I have good care, I trust them.

2:21And I find joy in life, continuing to be the person I still feel I can be. If you have such a serious illness. Then I continue to live as if I were healthy as far as possible. And then I have my art — it gives me so much harmony and, above all, joy. I prioritize my time, much more what is worth spending my time and energy on. Before, I was so diligent and was everywhere, I said yes to everything. And now I am much more confident and harmonious.

2:57And I prioritise my loved ones. And just want to be at home. It takes so much energy for me when I meet a lot of people and am out and about; I get tired and the energy is not there. And then I feel that when I have that time or that energy, I want to spend it on what really matters. And that's my family. My husband, my bonus children, my parents and also my loved ones, dear friends and the way I feel I want to prioritize these.

3:28That you should dare, you should not let the disease take over your life. Sure, it is difficult some days, but that you still try — and live as if I were not ill, so to say, but that I can do it, do these things that I thought were fun before. But also, as I said, that you dare to live. And that you might live a little more. Because you should do that even if you are not sick. And I think it's easy to forget that. So I think you should dare.

4:10I feel that this project, the Embrace project — as I said before — is about daring. If you have a passion, you should follow that passion and see the possibilities with it. It also makes you feel healthy and alive. And as I said to the research as well, that you contribute to this very thing with metastatic breast cancer. We donate a lot of money to the cancer fund, and specifically to metastatic research — that also generates hope.

4:46And that progress is being made in that research as well. Of course, my wish is that I get well, that this will disappear. That there should be a cure for this. After all, research is moving forward. There are new ones coming all the time. For example, I have tried medications that are brand new, that have just come out, and that have shown results. New ones keep coming. And then you just hope to still be here. Until the day comes when someone says: we have found a cure.

5:20I guess that's a lot of what I struggle with. Do I have enough years left to experience such a brilliant medicine? I don't know, but I hope so. And I try to have that mindset. So I guess my wish is that... It sounds so cliché, but that I'm going to get well. I sometimes notice it when we have to plan something. My husband asks if we should travel and do it next year. Then I always answer: But I can't be here then. I can't live that long.

5:57I hear myself say that a lot. What if I'm not alive then? What if I don't exist then? So for my future, I have sat and planned a little. But I happily take it day by day, or week by week. Or monthly. Because I only live these three month intervals. I dare not think that we will travel next month. Or next year. So it's a bit difficult. But I still have some kind of belief in the future within me. I will live long, I will live long, I will live long.